Monday, 21 March 2011

Keith Chegwin, Wey Hey!

Last Wednesday three things happened.

1. My car span off the road on black ice.
2. There was an earthquake here.
3. I had a video chat with Keith Chegwin.

So....which was the most stimulating? Keith, of course!!  I had a VIDEO CHAT with Keith Chegwin. Forget the heart thumping, near death experience of my car slithering and sliding across the road. Forget the 4.7 earthquake (which I didn't feel - I was doing laundry and suspect I thought it was just the dryer making its usual rattle). No - witness the random nature of life that leads you to speak directly to Keith Chegwin. Now, I don't want you to all think I'm some sad Keith Chegwin stalker - in fact, I rarely think of him except when he appears from years  of obscurity making an arse of himself. Yet again. It was a rather strange thing that happened - I went on to Twitter to follow my friend and cohort, @websitegirl, when there was a link to a 'live chat with Keith Chegwin'. Without thinking too much I clicked. I have to say at this juncture that a particularly stupid habit I have it to click before thinking, much like I speak before thinking.  And there he was!!!  In his studio (bedroom). Looking pretty much the same at he did when he was on the Multi Coloured Swap Shop (but with a more muted shirt colour). 
'Hello' I said (in a Twitter-like chat way)......seconds later he says 'Hello OpheliaButtocks.....ooh I love that name.' That's me!! Oh my god! 

Quickly I  send my sister a message to the effect - 'You won't believe it - I'm chatting to Keith Chegwin!' After what must have been a moment of confusion, and probably some revulsion, she asked me how. 
'Click this link,' I ranted.
What followed was us watching Keith in his studio (bedroom) talking about not much really. He was surrounded by monitors and computers and kept changing his camera angle, more for the sake of showing he could do it rather than any improvement in the view. What to ask him? What to say? My sister suggested I ask him to dance. Then she quickly threatened disassociation for life if I mentioned her name. 'Hey, my sister Bernie wants you to dance, Keith,' I sent. He ignored it much to my chagrine and my sister's relief.  Then, within a minute, he mentioned an idea, I failed to compute it, and then we were chatting live online, on video, for all of his 30+ viewers. When I say 30+ I don't mean their age (they are probably 40+), but the number of viewers. 
'Where are you calling from?'
'Canada,' I squealed, waving like a Telletubby.
And so ensued a 2 minute, utterly mind numbing chat. But it was with Keith Chegwin!!  I was thrilled to bits. And I even managed not to talk about his Naked Jungle fiasco which I had never actually heard of until my aforementioned sister had kindly sent me a screenshot. I tried not to think about it as we spoke for fear of involuntarily waggling my little finger at the screen. See here

Then, to top it all off, he started to follow me on Twitter. My day was complete. Much jealousy followed on my Facebook pages but I slept secure in the fact that I had been touched by fame.

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

French Word of the Day

I eventually submitted to the fact that I really should learn to speak French after a year and a half in Quebec.  I had enquired in the past about evening classes at a local college but they said I had to have some sort of form which I couldn't get unless I was a resident - or something like that, they had a strong French accent and their English was a bit ropey. Anyway, I was put off by both this and my husband's laughter when I attempted to pronounce any French word whatsoever. 

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago and I got out my French for Dummies and signed up online for a French word of the day. The latter, I thought, would help with my vocabulary. And I can report that it has indeed helped my vocabulary - my only problem is that I am struggling to use this vocabulary on an everyday basis. I have tried to wrangle 'candlelight walk' and 'hide and seek' into a conversation but it just drew suspicious looks. I probably shouldn't have tried them out with a stranger.

Some of the other suggestions have been a little more successful:

  • stake - 'I would like to put a stake in him' (when referring to Ryan Seacrest)
  • upside down - 'That car is upside down' (it wasn't but it was on its side which is close enough)
  • smooth talker - ' He's not a smooth talker' (again, Ryan Seacrest)
  • gunsmith - 'Do gunsmiths still live in Canada?' (to a stranger who looked a little worried)
  • funeral - 'I haven't been to a funeral for ages' (to the same stranger)
  • hopscotch - 'why don't you play hopscotch' (a suggestion to my not impressed 13 year old)
....and the one I'm most proud of....... lily of the valley - ' That looks like a lily of the valley' (pointing to a flower which was in fact a tulip but the context was right).

My next challenge is to try to get two words into one sentence. I have 'queasy', 'chubby', 'hike' and 'to disguise' to play with. I reckon if I talk to the right person I could get all four in one sentence.